So, for more than a year now I had blissfully forgotten about the existence of this blog. My first and only post on this blog was like a forgettable one night stand- I must have had a bad day and well, I fell for the huge cliche that writing could somehow act as a vent and make me feel better. Was I mistaken? I cant say. After all, not all cliches are misplaced. Come to think of it, they were cemented as cliches due to a reason.

But that's besides the point. Which brings us to the central question- Is there a point to this after all? Again, I can't say. The last post wasn't exactly cheerful but at least knew what I wanted to do in life, or I thought I did. I had a plan or again, maybe I was just trying to fool myself into believing that I did. As things would turn out, the plan worked out but now I realise that I never thought beyond that. Its' like one of those childhood "I want to be a.." things, once you have gotten there, you never really know what to do next.

I realized today that my life has no direction. I think that just made me sound like one of those 30 year old unmarried/divorced women with a mid life crisis who are somehow all gloriously beautiful and can afford long vacations to rich touristy places where they rediscover themselves and all that. Well for good or for worse, I can't do either of that. At most, I can wait for the feeling to pass, sleep it off or (and this is the most difficult of them all) actually try to get direction in to my life.

For a long time now, I was a victim of the rosy notion that the purpose of your life will be revealed to you in a moment of delightful awakening. That, sadly, doesn't happen. I thought that if I give myself enough time, something will strike me, that by some divine stroke of luck, I would find something I am really, really good at. But alas, that hasn't happened as yet and the way I see it, it never will.

So, what do I do now? Again, I don't know and that seems to be the theme of my life right now. As of now, I am going to try and live through this phase of not knowing, heck I might even try to enjoy it if I can. And I really want to say that I will try to make things right, but somehow I just can't muster up the courage to do that.

So much for now. The way I see it, this post is going to be no different from the earlier one- forgotten until someone reminds me again that I happen to have a blog.